The Hardest Battle
by ffwriter18
Summary: Ron and Hermione deal with their hardest battle. This battle can't be solved by magic, because it is an emotional and physical battle they have to face and one in which they feel very alone. (Deals with miscarriage.)
1. Chapter 1

**The Hardest Battle **

**Summary: **Ron and Hermione deal with their hardest battle. This battle can't be solved by magic, because it is an emotional and physical battle they have to face and one in which they feel very alone.

**Author's Note: ***Warning* This fanfiction deals with miscarriage. It is a very personal story for me and I have felt the need to write this for myself. If that is a difficult issue for you to read about, I just wanted to pre-warn you about the content. Thanks.

**AN2: **Don't worry, my other story will be updated soon. I hope you enjoy this story as well.

**Chapter One **

Despite the fact that Ron and Hermione knew many people, their wedding was a small affair. They wanted it to be intimate and only with their closest of relatives. It had been the perfect day, just a few months after Harry and Ginny's wedding. They decided to get married by the beach and to put most of their money toward their honeymoon.

As they got on their flight to Paris, France, Ron's knees were shaking. It was his very first time on the plane and he hadn't been able to understand why they couldn't just apparate there or take a porky.

"It's all part of the experience," Hermione told him. She wanted him to understand the Muggle way of life, because she wanted their future children to be immersed into both worlds. It was very important to her.

By the time they were up in the air, Ron's body had completely relaxed and his lips and turned up into their goofy grin. He kept pointing to the clouds out the window and asking for more beverages from the flight crew. It started to become humorous to Hermione.

"Ron, they aren't your servants," she told him jokingly, as he pushed the call button for the fifth time.

"But I'm out of water," he replied. The flight attendant came to their seat with a smile. She quickly realized that this was Ron's first time on a plane and therefore, she was very patient with him.

The plane landed right on time. Getting off the plane, Hermione had to lead Ron to the place where they would pick up their belongings. Ron was extremely amused by the belt that brought back the luggage.

"This is amazing," Ron murmured. "But I still don't know why you couldn't just use your bag. We could have fit loads and it would have been easier to carry."

"Ron," Hermione said, pulling off their one bag from the belt. "I told you, I want you to experience it like a true Muggle. Plus, I placed a charm on this bag. We would have had to brought more luggage if I hadn't."

"Brillant," Ron replied, as they left the airport.

Even though Hermione had wanted to travel the Muggle way, they were staying in the Wizard Community of Paris. Outside of the airport, they found their tour guide. He was clearly a Wizard with his crazy Muggle clothing. He led them to the side of the airport, where they met a group of other Wizards. There was an old green jacket and Hermione figured that must be the porkey to Parvell, the Wizard Community there. Each Wizard touched the jacket and a moment later they were standing in an area that reminded Ron and Hermione of Diagon Alley. This alley was a little bit wider and you could see the Eiffel Tower behind the Gingott's Bank.

"Come on," Hermione called to Ron. "Our hotel is this way."

At these words, Ron grinned. "That is what I have been waiting for."

"For heaven's sake, Ronald! We are in Paris! Don't you want to see the sights?"

"Sure I do. But this is our honeymoon, 'Mione," he reminded her. "I would like to enjoy the hotel first."

They checked into the hotel and went straight to their room. The hotel was magically made so no matter what room you stayed in, you had the best view of Paris. Hermione and Ron stood at their window for several minutes.

"It's absolutely beautiful," Hermione stated.

"Yeah, it is." But when Hermione turned around, she saw that Ron was staring at her and not Paris. A smile crept on her face and she threw her arms around his neck.

"I love you," she said into his ear.

"I can't imagine my life without you," he replied. "I love you, too."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Their trip to Paris lasted exactly nine days. They did many tours and saw all of Paris. There were days they just went away on their own and were able to discover some of Paris's hidden gems. The entire trip was truly magical, even though they used very little magic between them.

While they were on their trip, the idea of children was the last thing from their minds. Before their wedding, they had discussed waiting a few years to have children. They were still in their early twenties and had plenty of time to have children. However, despite this idea, they hadn't been super careful in this department either. Even though Hermione was generally the over thinker in every department, she allowed herself a worry-free trip with her husband. And it had been worth it.

Heading home, they were both exhausted. By the time they reached their new flat, the both of them collapsed on the bed and went straight to sleep.

It wasn't until a little over a week later that Hermione started to notice that things were off. She just felt strange. For one, she was tired. But she kept blaming that on her trip and her busy work schedule. Secondly, her breasts were extremely sore. She couldn't find an excuse for that. Yet, she decided to blame that on her trip, as well. For a fleeting moment, she thought about pregnancy and then she dismissed it. She couldn't possibly be pregnant. Plus, it would be way too early to tell. She had to be imagining things.

As the week went on, that fleeting thought became a constant though. _Could I be pregnant? _She thought. _We weren't as careful as we should have been. No, it couldn't be possible. But….._

Hermione would often shake these thoughts away and just go back to her daily schedule. She didn't say these thoughts to Ron, because she didn't want to overwhelm him. They hadn't been married long and they were still trying to figure out there lives together. A baby would be a huge change in their already new relationship.

"'Mione?" Ron asked. It was late at night and Hermione was shifting around a lot in the bed.

"Sorry," she said. "I just feel off." Ron's eyes grew concerned. He touched his hand on her cheek and frowned.

"You don't feel warm," he commented.

"It's probably nothing," she replied.

"You should go to the healer, just in case," Ron stated. Hermione couldn't help but smile. She loved the way Ron doted over her.

"Fine," she conceded.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A week and a half later Hermione was sitting across her healer in his office. The healer was a kindly woman whom Hermione had just started seeing less than a year ago. The healer had her hands crossed on her desk and peered at the young witch.

"What brings you hear today?"

Hermione explained how she had been feeling. Immediately, the healer's eyes were twinkling.

"Could you be pregnant?" Hermione twisted her lips.

"Possibly," she replied honestly. It wasn't a complete impossibility.

Hermione was taken to one of the back rooms for testing. As she sat in the cold room alone, her thoughts were running a mile per minute. She couldn't possibly be pregnant. There had to be another explanation. There just had to be.

"Mrs. Weasley?" The healer said, as she opened the door.

"Yes?"

With a smile, the healer stated, "Congratulations. You are pregnant."

At that moment, all the anticipation and doubt faded away. It was replaced with pure happiness that warmed her entire soul.

The happiness remained on her way home. It wasn't until she stepped into her flat that her stomach began to tie itself back into knots. As happy as she was, she was afraid of what Ron's reaction might be. It wasn't that he wouldn't be happy, but everything was moving fast.

Ron was home a few hours later. Since his stomach generally led his way, he grabbed a snack in the kitchen before heading into the living area. That's when he saw his wife sitting on the edge of the couch twisting her hands nervously.

"What's wrong?" Ron quickly asked. He dropped his snack on the table and bent down to Hermione's level. Pushing back her hair from her face, he noticed her cheeks were pale. "'Mione?"

"I….We're pregnant," Hermione finally got out. Ron's face morphed from fear to extreme excitement. He stood and pulled Hermione into his arms, turning her around and kissing her cheek.

"We're pregnant?!" He asked again.

"Yes," her voice relieved and matching his. "You're not mad?"

"Mad?! Why on earth would I be mad?"

"I don't know. We are just newly married and…."

"It's brilliant," he interrupted her. "We're having a baby."

"Yes," Hermione said, their lips meeting. "We are."

**To be continued…..Please let me know if you would like more.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Hermione couldn't have imagined just how excited Ron was going to be. Over the next couple of days, Ron had purchased a book about being a father, bought her a book about being a mother, and had already begun figuring out where the baby's room would be.

"When should we tell everyone?" Ron questioned, as he sat on the sofa reading his new book. Hermione's eyes glanced over at him and a smile graced her lips. She loved seeing him immersed in a book, and not just any book, a book about him being a father.

"Not quite yet," Hermione answered him. "We aren't that far along, only four weeks. We should wait a little while to tell everyone."

Ron's lips turned into a small frown, but he nodded anyway. Hermione inched closer to him on the couch and rested her head on his shoulder.

"This is nice," Hermione murmured. Ron began rubbing her shoulders and Hermione's eyes began to flutter closed.

"I think we should call the baby something," Ron said, making Hermione sit up and look at him. Her lips twisted.

"What do you mean?"

"A name. We should give the baby a name so we don't have to call it 'it.'" Ron explained. Hermione's eyes narrowed, as she thought about what Ron suggested.

"But we have no idea if the baby is a girl or a boy. It will be several weeks before we can find out," Hermione told Ron. Ron's lips curled into a small smile. That was his Hermione. She was always trying to be logical.

"I know that. Just a pet name for him or her. Something like Peanut or something…."

"Peanut?"

"It doesn't have to be that name. I am just giving some suggestions." Hermione's lips twisted in thought and she leaned back against the sofa.

"What about Paris?" Hermione suggested.

"Why Paris?"

"Well, the baby was conceived in Paris. Why not call the baby after where we made him or her?"

Ron thought about it for a moment and then he nodded. "I like it." He bent over to Hermione's stomach and placed his hand on the flat surface. "Hello, Paris. I'm your dada. I love you."

Hermione giggled while Ron's fingers tickled her abdomen. She placed her hand on his head and ran her fingers through his dark red locks. This quite possibly was the best day of her life so far. It was a simple day, but that is what made it so exceptionally perfect. It was just Ron, Paris, and her. Nothing could be better. She was so unbelievably happy.

_A Week Later_

It was a lazy Saturday morning and Hermione and Ron had just finished eating breakfast in bed. Ron yawned loudly and placed their dirty plates and cups on the floor next to him. Then he turned to his wife who was already turned looking at him. He brushed her bushy locks off her cheek and behind her ear before bending over and kissing her lips. Hermione's lips curled and her cheeks reddened.

"Can we just stay in here all day?" Hermione asked. "It's been a long week. I am so exhausted."

"Yeah, well, you are growing a human being. That's a lot of work," Ron told her playfully.

"It is," Hermione agreed. "Can you believe in just eight short months we are going to be parents?"

"No," Ron answered honestly, "I can't." He then smiled, "But I can't wait, you know? It's going to be amazing."

"Do you think Paris is a boy or a girl?" Hermione asked.

"A boy," Ron stated resolutely.

"Why do you think Paris is a boy?" Hermione questioned. Her eyebrow rose.

"Look at my family," Ron stated. "I have several brothers and only one sister. I would say the odds are in the favor of boys."

"You have a point," Hermione replied. Ron looked at her as though her head had fallen off. She often told him he was mistaken. "What? The man's side of the family does tend to determine what sex the baby is going to be. I would say it is highly logical to think that this baby is a boy."

Ron smiled. "Have you thought of any names?"

"Not really," Hermione answered honestly. "We weren't planning on having children for a couple of years, so I haven't put much thought into names for our future kids. I think maybe we should wait until we know what Paris is. Have you?"

"No," Ron replied. His hand rested on Hermione's stomach. "I think it will come to us when it's time."

"I agree."

_The Next Day_

Hermione wasn't sure how she talked him into it, but she and Ron were walking around a baby store. It was a Muggle store in town that Hermione had wanted to look through to get some ideas about the nursery and what they would need to get for the baby. It would be a while before they needed to buy anything, but she wanted to be able to prepare their budget for their future purchases.

"Um, Hermione?" Ron said unsurely, as he lifted the price tag of one of the cribs.

"Yes?"

"This stuff is expensive." It was the first time Hermione had sensed Ron's anxiousness of what's to come. His eyes were wide and his face had turned pale.

"I know, but we have time to save up. Plus this shop is known to be expensive. We have other places we can go," Hermione told him. She grabbed his hand and led him to another side of the store. Both their eyes were drawn to the baby clothes section.

"Look how little," Hermione cooed. Her fingers lifted up a newborn outfit and a few tears sprang to her eyes. She was completely overwhelmed by a newfound happiness. Babies were never something that was on her mind, but now she couldn't imagine it any other way.

"Wow," Ron echoed her amazement. "It is so tiny. I can't believe we are going to be responsible for something that small."

"Me either," Hermione agreed. Ron wrapped his arm around Hermione's middle and Hermione rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so happy."

"Me too," Ron agreed. "Me too."

_A Week Later_

Ron and Hermione had their first appointment with their new Healer in a day. At this appointment they were told they would be likely to see the heartbeat. The excitement of what to come had made it difficult for Hermione to sleep, so she ended up taking a long nap when she got home from work. Ron found her sleeping on the couch when he got home. Instead of waking her up, Ron wrapped a blanket around her and began fixing dinner for the both of them.

"Hey," Hermione muttered, as she sleepily walked into the kitchen. The kitchen smelled wonderful and she smiled at the already set table. "You could have woken me up."

"Of course not, you need your rest," Ron replied, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

"Now let's eat."

Dinner was delicious. The two of them chatted about their upcoming appointment and how excited they were to see the baby on a screen. Hermione explained how the baby was going to be tiny and hard to see, but how it was going to be amazing to see the heartbeat. Ron offered to clean the kitchen and refused Hermione's help when she suggested helping.

"You need your rest," Ron told her. "I will be upstairs in a moment."

When Ron got upstairs, he was shocked to see Hermione standing next to the bed. Seeing her pale face, he immediately rushed to her side.

"'Mione?" She didn't respond. It was then he noticed that her eyes were wet with tears. "'Mione?" He questioned again.

"I'm bleeding."

**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to all who reviewed, favorited, and started following the story. I hope you continue to enjoy it. This is an important story to me, because it hits home.

**Chapter 3**

Ron stood shell shocked. "Wh…what?" Hermione didn't seem to hear him. She walked over to the bookshelf and pulled out the baby book Ron had bought her. Flipping to the index, she looked for bleeding. Then she turned to the pages the index told her to go to. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she read the few blurbs intently and several times.

"Okay, it says in here bleeding can happen. As long as it isn't accompanied by cramping, it isn't a clear sign of miscarriage," Hermione said strongly, although a stray tear fell down her cheek.

"Well, that's good. Isn't it?" He took the seat next to her and looked down at the book. "Yeah, it says here bleeding can happen."

Hermione swallowed hard. "I just…."

"What?"

Hermione shifted the book back toward her and read it again.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"My healer won't be there. It's late," Hermione rationalized. As strong as she was trying to be, Ron could tell that her hands were shaking. "We have an appointment in the morning. Let's just go to sleep and wait until then. There isn't much they can do for us anyway."

Ron nodded. They both got ready for bed more quietly than they ever had before. The room was tense and they were both terrified. Both were silently praying that they were over reacting and the baby was going to be just fine.

When they climbed into bed, Ron kissed Hermione's cheek and pulled her into his embrace. He rubbed her back before placing his hand over her still flat abdomen.

"It'll be alright, you'll see," he promised. "Everything will be alright."

And Hermione believed him, at least for a little while.

Sleep eluded Hermione. While her husband slept soundly beside her, Hermione lay there over analyzing every twinge she felt in her body. When slight cramping started in her abdomen, she told herself it was just her abdomen stretching for the baby. She had read in several books that it happened. Cramping was a part of pregnancy. However, part of her couldn't get past the part that she was cramping and bleeding. She turned on her side and tried to get some sleep.

An hour later, Hermione was awoken by the worst pain she had ever felt in her life. There was no more light cramping. No, her body felt like it was being torn into two. Her lower abdomen was cramping in a way she had never felt before. The pain radiated all the way through her back; it brought fresh tears to her eyes.

She did her best to keep quiet. The last thing she wanted to do was wake Ron and worry him. Her wand illuminated and she turned to see it didn't bother Ron. She grabbed the baby book and flipped to the pages about miscarriage. Reading the pages, more tears slid down her cheeks. Then more pain radiated throughout her midsection.

"Hermione?" Ron's sleep filled voice murmured, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What's wrong, love?"

Hermione faced her husband and he quickly saw her wet cheeks.

"I'm in a lot of pain," she answered him. Ron placed his hand on Hermione's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Where?" He asked lovingly.

"My abdomen and lower back. I…." she paused, as the pain increased. Then she tried to shift on the bed to change her position. "I can't get comfortable."

Ron moved his hand to her lower back and massaged in an attempt to alleviate some of her pain. Hermione bent over more and rested her head on her knees.

"I…I think I'm losing the baby," Hermione finally confessed, her words quiet. Ron didn't respond. He just continued to rub her back. Hermione turned her head on her knees so she could look at Ron. "The book says when you miscarry you have contractions to expel the….the tissue." Hermione slowly got out.

"What can I do?" Ron asked, wanting so badly to help.

"Nothing," Hermione answered, feeling completely empty. "At this point, there is nothing we can do."

For hours, Hermione stayed in pain. When she finally got up to go to the bathroom, she came out completely pale.

"I think….I'm pretty sure I just passed the ba…I mean the tissue." Ron noticed how she avoided using the word baby to try to make it seem technical and not like their hearts had just been ripped from their chests.

"Come here," Ron murmured, bringing her into his tight embrace. He kissed the top of her head, but she shook her head and pulled away.

"We should go to sleep. It will be morning soon." Ron watched her with worried eyes, as she climbed into the bed and turned to her side. He stood there for a few moments, before climbing in beside her and turning out the lights. He remained awake, watching her. And he realized that it wasn't until she thought he was asleep, that she began to sob.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next morning they sat silently in the waiting from of the healer's office. Both of them were pale faced with dark circles around their eyes. The room was full of other women and their husbands. Several women were visibly pregnant and Hermione kept her eyes on her hands in her lap.

"Hermione Weasley?"

Ron and Hermione stood and followed the nurse back into the room Hermione would be seen. Hermione sat on the edge of the hospital bed, while Ron stood awkwardly beside her. Hermione wasn't sure why she had to be here. She knew that the baby was gone. She just knew. She had known from the moment she saw that blood. The baby wasn't going to be there. The thought brought fresh tears to her eyes, so she quickly pushed it away.

When the healer came in, Hermione and Ron explained what had happened. The healer looked concerned and nodded her head. She told Hermione to lay down and ran her wand over Hermione's stomach. Above her stomach, a small transparent screen floated. The healer peered at the screen and her face fell.

"Have you passed any tissue?"

"Yes…."

The healer flicked her wand and the screen disappeared. She told Hermione to sit up and gave her a grim smile.

"It does appear you have miscarried," the healer told the two of them. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"How….?" Ron finally got out. The healer turned her attention to him.

"This just happens. It is pretty common among first pregnancies." Her attention went back to Hermione. "You still have some tissue to pass, but most of it has passed. Everything looks good."

Hermione nodded, although she felt completely numb.

"You should wait three months before trying again," the healer informed them. "Any more questions?"

Hermione bit on her lower lip and shook her head. Ron told her no and she left them alone in the cold room. Ron walked over and hugged his wife. She stayed completely solid. A moment later, she stood and gave him a small, weak smile.

"Let's go home."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"You need to rest," Ron croaked out, as they walked into their house. Hermione weakly nodded. "Go lie down and I will bring you some tea."

Hermione went into their bedroom and did as she was told. Never before had she felt this broken. She didn't understand how she could be so incredibly happy one moment and then that happiness could be swept away just like that. It was the worst feeling in the world.

Ron came in a minute later with some tea and placed it on the bedside table next to Hermione. He then sat down on the bed next to Hermione and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," Hermione croaked into his shirt. Ron pulled her back, looking into her eyes.

"What are you sorry for? It _isn't_ your fault," he stated strongly. Hermione blinked back the tears.

"I feel like it is. It's my body."

"Shh," Ron muttered, pulling her back into his arms. "Shh, it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. It just happens."

"I hate it," Hermione confessed between sobs.

"Me too."

**To be continued...**

**I'm about to go out of town for almost two weeks. I hope to have an update on file so I can update while I'm away, but I can't promise it will happen. If not, I will update as soon as I get back. **


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